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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in iamyoursavior22's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, August 16th, 2005
4:09 pm
rehab sucked
today is my bday
that sux too
im old
wow
in the last 3 weeks i got 25 emails, all my horriscope and 1 comment
im tha shit lol
Tuesday, July 26th, 2005
8:44 am
freedom
oh freedom

jail is a bitch
5 days of hell
pure hot sweaty crowded bullshit hell

now to rehab
oh joy

ill write in 3 weeks when im out
my bday is in 3 weeks
dont forget u 2!

*laughs at herself for only havin 2 friends
Tuesday, July 19th, 2005
6:20 pm
my dad was supposed to come today, he didnt, ha, whats new
2 crazy bitches wont leave my woman alone
im going to stab them with a spork... in the eye
twice
muh girls mom hates me and in 'slightly insane
ok ok she doesnt hate me, but she hates that her daughter loves me....
big dif eh?
my gfs son thinks being gay is an aquired trait
'shank
i need to quit smoking
so does my gf
but she wont
so neither will i
the little one makes me feel guilty
so im going to tell her to tell her mom to quit.. n then i will..
i have a boring life
at least u prob think so
but its good
i like it
and if you dont
ill stab you
in the eye
with a spork
i want to join the marines
but im too lazy
my woman says no
but i laugh at her
im going to get arrested soon
by the cops
and put in jail
then prison
or boot camp
or something fun
i want a beer
and a cigarette
and a kiss
i so just got one
now for the beer n cig
*lights up
ok ok
2 outta 3 aint bad
my ma left her purse at walmart
who the fuck does that?
my girl is a crack head
i got some new white t's
n a 10 cent notebook
i have no clothes
scott the bastard stole them all
guess what imma do to him
well i wont tell you
but i bet you know
gimme 20 bucks fuckers
its time to carry in groceries
one
Thursday, July 14th, 2005
5:39 pm
I have been lost in love land.
Now that im coming back to reality i realize how insane this may be.
but damn it sure feels good.
im such an asshole though.
im with an amazing woman, who does everything she can for me, not to mention who happens to be pretty damn decent in bed, yet i still think of others.
hopefully this just disappears, it seems to every time im with her, its just when shes gone that i question things.
so i know its fear and not the relationship.
so instead of the normal reaction to run once 'the chase' is over, im oging to stick it out and see what happens.
but god i still miss her.....

on another note, i got a link from my ex tonia today w/pics of my boys(her nephews we took care of in LA) i miss them so bad, i just keep staring at their pictures, i looked at them at the library for the first time and began to cry, i will never see them again, soon, if not already, i will be a faded memory that will be forgotten.
this always happens to me
Saturday, July 2nd, 2005
7:25 pm
damn this blows my mind..
last week i went to the bar n i was just partyin takin shots w/all these chicks, jus partyin..
then when i was leavin i sucked face w/this chick , she was cool as hell..
so i was supposed to go meet her the next day, but i didnt make it that far..
i went to the bar last night n she was there, we talked a bit n then i went to her house after tha bar closed..
it frightens me that i had fun.. i didnt even get no booty lol
but we talked n cuddled and all that fun shit and it was just really cool to chill with someone like her..
only dilema is..
shes 36, she has 3 kids(great kids, but still 3 kids) an her son is only 5 years younger than me..
not that that really bothers me, its just strange..
and she doesnt know my real age, which sux, cuz i cant tell her or shit would be crazy..
but damn shes hot for an older woman, and not only that, but she can kiss like there aint no tomorrow, and i know she fittin to blow muh mind in the bed..
so i know im gonna try for this.. but damn.. crazy huh
Thursday, June 23rd, 2005
2:49 am
im going to bed now,
gotta work at 11
seems all i do is sleep lately..
12:16 am
im really getting into fear factory again. god they kick ass.
i think i listen to the music that matches my mood, and since it fluctuates often, my music does with it.

im old.
i feel like its too late to try.
how stupid is that?
i sit back and watch my life through a window, i just want to shatter the window and strangle myself
yet i still do nothing about it.
i have probation friday.
i have to buy a detox drink.
i hope i dont get tested or theres a large chance i may be fucked.
but do i do anything to change it?
course not.
pride is sunday
i was so excited about it.
i have lost much of the excitment..
i think maybe because im unhappy with what i have to present to the world,
but its a gay march..
im weird..
i almost forgot how much i loved this cd..
it got me thru most of my rehab and all that bullshit..
good thing i decided to download it outta nowhere.

my life is a circus
will it always be insanity
or do i make the insanity
should i look into things the way i do
or should i just let them go and forget
i remember a lot
its like i store everything
build it up till it all comes out
and the cycle repeats

its like when you put in a cd
the first beat plays and you know what it is
you know what your getting
so suddenly you are in a different mood
either jammin to the beats you love
or laughin at the fact that this particular cd is in
but either way you know what to expect
you begin to feel more comfortable

or when you light a cigarette
the one you have been craving for so long
and how good the smoke feels rushing into your lungs
and exhaling even better
you know with every drag that its killing you
that eventually it will catch up with you and you will suffer
but living in that moment, with that delicious tar
you dont care, you just enjoy
but the day it catches up to you
all of those beautiful stress-relieving moments
every time you sparked up again
is all worth nothing
and you wish you could take it back

its like walking down the street
with nowhere in particular that you are going
the whole time your thinking
contemplating all of the places you can go
all of the things you could be doing
finally deciding on one thing
you arrive
its never what you expect
they are doing as are you
looking for what to do next
finding that one thing that will take up time
for time is there to pass
and you must find a way to forget it exists.

"i smoke and i drink and
every time i blink i
have a tiny dream.
but as bad as i am
im proud of the fact that im
worse than i seem."
-Ani Difranco
that quote runs through me several times an hour.

today i wanted to move to the city.
i wanted to be where everything was happeneing
it seems im always so bored
i just want to find the place where i can be
some days its the city
others its to be every womans desire
to have the money
the beautiful home
and all of my shit together
and some days
i just want to sit there
just sit and listen to the sounds
and find my way around it all
the way to do it all,
have it all
and still have me too

its like you stive to be what everyone wants
you breathe to make everyone else smile
to see their faces light up because of you
but sometimes i think i should stop
and see how often i make my own face light up
how often does my eye twinkle
or when was the last time i was the one putting off 'the glow'

im sorry im bitching, and im putting it all out there
but i spose thats why i made this journal, so i oculd say the things i need to say
and noone here can read it and bring it back later to haunt me

today i am writing this

tomorrow will be the next plan in life..
my next desire

its not hard to find what burns the fire
whats hard is figuring out how to keep it lit
Thursday, June 16th, 2005
3:05 pm
well this sux
i guess im not going to pride after all
i slaved at bk
i worked double shifts almost every day for this
and now there is no car
i have no fucking way there
jesus it just keeps gettin better
3:30 am
lmfao

iamyoursavior22 is energetic.
You've got the energy level of a small yip-yap dog. And, much like those dogs, I hope you get run over by an ice cream truck. Yeah, that's right. I said it.
brought to you by interim32. wanna know your lj's moodring color? enter your user name and hit the button. (discussion thread)

3:27 am
wow...
i just got high w/my boss, and kinda tipsy... weird..
but shes cool tho, i wish she wouldnt have had to leave, i feel bad ..
but its still weird..
Wednesday, June 15th, 2005
3:02 pm
im bored... my blood is flowing, and i have nothing else to do, i must stay busy..
me and ashley decided to have a challenge, ya see, the pride parade is in 1 week and 4 days and i have to look as good as possible in this short period of time, so i am going to bust my fucking ass, we are betting who can lose most weight in this period of time.. i hate losing, i must win, i will win.. i rule lol.. anyways i have nothing to do, im going to go jogging i think.. i have never went jogging before lmao



hmm...


http://www.liquidgeneration.com/quiz/images/straightouttacompton.jpg
To link it (the actual code):

http://www.liquidgeneration.com/quiz/images/rambo-lesbian.jpg
To link it (the actual code):



god i hope someone wants to play fris golf today or somethin.. shit
its too nice to sit around
2:45 pm
wow..
i got off the fone w/ashley around 1:57pm, she had to feed her son and give him a bath before we could go to the park, so i decided to go for a bike ride and shit first then call her round 3..
i went up the street to my house, changed, got my cd player, picked out a cd, and went to the gas station to get batteries n cigs..
i then loaded the batteries into the cd player, got back on the bike, and was off..
bout 1/2 mile from the gas station to the bike path..
stopped, got situated, picked my song, and went on my way down the path
it was amazing
i love the wind in my face, feeling the sweat roll down my face as i pedal harder, its a thrill i almost forgot about. at the 1 mile marker i saw a deer off to my right in the open about oh id say 10 feet away give or take. i kept riding, saw several other animals also, it was great. so i get to the end of the bike path, switch to metalica, and im off again on my way back. back to the 1 mile marker again(the 2 mile marker on the way back) i see the same deer run out in front of me about 10 feet or so once again, if id have taken one less second loading the cd earlier or doing anything, id most likely have hit it.. that woulda been a bitch..
so i guess, the conclusion of the day is..
no matter how bad things seem, how bad they get, or how much worse you know they are going to get, or even when you know nothing could be worse...
Everything happens for a reason..

oh yeah, and how did it only take me 45 mins to do all that and ride the 4 miles?
just seems it should have taken much longer

Current Mood: energetic
1:20 pm
i hate men
they ruin everything
EVERYTHING!
they should die
die of ghonorea and rot in HELL!
stab them in the eye
shoot them in the face
Tuesday, June 14th, 2005
4:33 pm
woke up at 7 bc scott was pounding on my window..
smoked like 4 joints..
a couple hitters of dro..
thought i had to work at 9
was wrong
had to be there at 11
took shower..
went to work..
got off work..
heather picked me up..
got cigs
now im here..
and going to play fris golf w/heather and PAULA! woo
9:16 am
wow..
crazy realizations..
im lex..
i work at burger king..
i get high..
i sleep..
a few things here n there..

thats my life..

wow.. thats sad..
i think something may have to change
Monday, June 13th, 2005
4:35 pm
fuck this shit
this is bull
every time
every fucking time
every god damn mother fucking time
every god damn mother fucking piece of shit time things start to get better.. even great, everything goes to shit
i mean pure shit
i work at bk
my best friend/roommate/sister comes in today to pick me up
w/my mom?
oh just so happens she lost her car today, her parents took it back
bc she works for them, its a company car, and she got fired
she also los her fone..
she has nothing now..
how will we pay the bills, how will we get around, how will heather get through this?
she is already going thru a terrible relationship break
now this
god
god why do you do this?
why do you take everything away right when we want you in our lives
its so hard to accept you and do your will when you dont even let us live a life w/o this chaos
i kno i kno
everything happens for a reason
i kno this
but whats the reason?
what for
why would u take everything from her
do you want her to die?
want me to die w/her?

Current Mood: pissed off
Sunday, June 12th, 2005
9:11 am
wow...
pride is coming up so fast..
heather is taking me up to chicago for it!
god i cant wait.. every year i have tried to go and have failed, but i know i get to go this time around!! :D
today is my day off.. and they called me in lol
i would have normally said i couldnt go in.. but i really need the money for the parade and such..
14 days! and counting..
Monday, June 6th, 2005
3:47 pm
today...
heather woke me up at 830, said i had court
set alarm for 12:15
woke up
came to moms
took shower
went to court
got sentanced to probation for 2 years
im now a felon
checked mail
wrote tonia back
went home
listened to ani
said my goodbyes
came to moms
going to work
then ill get off around 12
ill go home
listen to ani
sleep
.....

Current Mood: bored
Friday, June 3rd, 2005
2:04 pm
im a loser..
i have one friend on my list!
so heres an EXTRA-SUPER-JUMBO-SIZED shout-out to muh main G!
My Homepage

ba-bamm


im moving into my friend heathers.. moving is a pain in the ass.. did u know that?
oh yeah it is..
i havent moved shit
so today i get to do everything all at once, just like i always do
i put myself in these beautiful situations and just adore completing them..

Current Mood: high
Wednesday, June 1st, 2005
3:31 am
ack
coming down sux!
im gettin there, i had a great time, but i was by myself... so i guess it wasnt THAT great!.. but i guess it kinda was, so fuck yeah.. it just seems that it ends so soon..
its not eve nover yet, all i need to do is move around and its back, but i sit here, and am unable to move, so i guess ill enjoy the keys moving under my fingers..

i walked to the gas station to get cigs earlier.. that was insanity let me tell ya..
i started walking to one gas station, relized the lady that always talks was at the one the other way, so instead of being practical, i walked around the block and had a distinctive "pattern" that i felt i needed to follow, it was grand, gotta love those moments forever, especially, when u have to stick to the "pattern
" so bad that ya even walk home the same exact way, even though its obviously longer, you just dont dare to break that shit..

i need friends that stay up all night
why these fucks gotta go to bed.. i mean damn, its 4am and everyone i know is sleeping.. who sleeps at night?? esp when i need someone to hang out w/and shoot the shit with since i cant shut my fucking trap lol..

pure bliss i tell ya
pure bliss and complete happiness

Current Mood: determined
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